Curse Jordan
*Hunter*
Married Jo Harvelle after a night in Vegas. Who'd a thunk they would end up perfect for each other. Now the father of twins, the ex-Navy Seal badass melts like butter when his wife is around. Ever protective of his family he'll do what's needed to keep them safe.
Posts: 139
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Post by Curse Jordan on Sept 30, 2009 21:02:18 GMT -5
Curse was a coward. He knew that deep down in his gut as he stared at the weapon laying before him on the work desk. He'd been avoiding Jo's questioning looks for for a few weeks now and knew he couldn't put off their talk very much longer. Although the bruises had faded, he still had a long way to go before he would be fully healed and even longer before his mind recovered.
Nightmares had plagued him every night since he'd returned home and he'd taken to sleeping in the guest room in hopes of not waking his wife with his moans and cold sweats. She hadn't said anything yet but he could see the question in her eyes and the hurt she struggled to hide. But how could he explain to her the depths of his fears when he wasn't even sure how far they went? The fear that in his sleep, he would lash out and accidently hurt her thinking she was the enemy?
On his first night back in the house with her, he'd woken to find himself on top of her with her wide eyes looking up at him after she'd tried shaking him awake. It had scared him so bad that he'd started laying awake until she was asleep and then sneaking into the other room to rest. He knew that she needed answers but he didn't know what to tell her.
Sighing, the handsome hunter rubbed his bandaged leg and took a swig of his beer. Escaping downstairs to his weapons room had become his hide out but he knew it couldn't last. It was only a matter of time until his wife cornered the lion in his den.
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Jo Jordan ★
Admin
Hunter Hard rockin, hard hitting wife of Curse Jordan and mother of twins, Jo is her husbands whole world and also the terror of his existance. One of these days, hes seriously going to lock her up if strange things dont stop happening with her
Formerly Jo Harvelle till she went to Vegas that one time.
Posts: 319
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Post by Jo Jordan ★ on Oct 1, 2009 19:24:24 GMT -5
JoJo had taken the babies into the backroom office of The Silver Bullet. Having fed them and changed them she asked her mother to come back and watch them for a little while. Her mother was there and had been helping out at the bar a lot lately. Not just the bar but pretty much everything at home as well. With Curse's injuries, Jo recovering from giving birth, and twin newborn babies to take care of, along with the normal upkeep of the property and the bar, things had been hectic to say the least. One thing Jo had to give credit to her mother for, she was certainly always there when she really needed her to be.
Jo was worried about Curse. Ever since he had gotten home he seemed distant. With everything that had gone on since he came home, they hadn't had the chance to really sit down and talk. It had been a a few weeks now and he was still being tight lipped about things. It was starting to frustrate the young wife and mother. She knew he was hurting inside and it hurt her as well.
He'd given her a very brief summary about things but not really anything more than what she had already known. He'd only told her things that were obvious. That he'd been capture during the mission, tortured and then rescued by Derek and his team. He wouldn't elaborate further. It was hard on Jo. All she wanted to do was help him but if he didn't let her in she couldn't do much. It hurt her that he kept his distance from her and that he had taken to moving into the spare bedroom to sleep after she had fallen asleep. She knew he was worried after she had attempted to wake him up from a nightmare, but this was getting out of hand. He hadn't hurt her and she knew in her heart that he wouldn't have.
Jo felt sure that his subconscious mind would realize it was her and he'd have stopped himself before he had done anything to hurt her. It seemed to Jo that he was afraid, but the more he pulled away from her the harder it was and it wasn't going to help at all if he didn't face it. She loved him and knew that he loved her. She wasn't about to let this pull them apart.
Leaving the babies in the office with her mother, Jo went off to the bar area first, picking up two fresh bottles of beer. Then she headed into the kitchen. She fixed a plate with a cheeseburger and some french fries. Putting the plate, beers and a bottle of ketchup on a tray she picked it up and headed to the stairs that lead to the renovated basement. Stopping in front of the door that had a keypad lock on it she took a deep breath and let out a sigh before she punched in the code. Pulling the door open after hearing the lock click.
Without saying a word at first she set the plate of food, ketchup, and one of the beers in front of her husband who sat at the work bench. She took the tray and set it on one of the other tables in the room. Returning to the work bench she boosted herself up so she was sitting on the edge next to Curse. She opened the second bottle of beer she had brought and took a long pull from it, then she finally spoke. "I thought you might be hungry. Figured you could use another beer as well. You've been hiding down here for hours now." Jo looked at him as he sat there. Then she reached over and took one of the fries off the plate and popped it into her mouth.
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Curse Jordan
*Hunter*
Married Jo Harvelle after a night in Vegas. Who'd a thunk they would end up perfect for each other. Now the father of twins, the ex-Navy Seal badass melts like butter when his wife is around. Ever protective of his family he'll do what's needed to keep them safe.
Posts: 139
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Post by Curse Jordan on Oct 2, 2009 10:25:59 GMT -5
At the sound of the door opening, Curse stiffened and froze in his seat. The soft footsteps down the stairs told him exactly who it was and he knew his time was up. Picking up the pistol, he reassembled it just as she came into the room and the smell of french fries and cheeseburgers meet his nose. Funny... A few months ago, he would have fallen on the food like a starved beast but now.. Now... he had no interest in the very things he'd loved.
As the basket was placed on the work bench in front of him, he kept his eyes on the weapon before his wife made it impossible to ignore her by hopping up on the thing. Setting the gun down, he finally raised his eyes just as she spoke.
"I thought you might be hungry. Figured you could use another beer as well. You've been hiding down here for hours now."
Nodding casually, the hunter avoided her gaze by looking at the food. His stomach clenched at the thought of trying to eat anything but for her sake, he took a crispy pototo and stuck it in his mouth.
"Thanks Darlin......"
Picking up the beer, he twisted the cap and tossed it on the counter before taking a long drag.
"The babies asleep? They seem to have their days and nights mixed up.... I think Jake wanted to play video games or something last night when he woke up... He stayed awake for a couple hours before I could put him back in his crib..... Unlike Tessa who is so quiet.... That ones a little angel..."
Taking another drink of his beer, Curse finally looked at his wife. His eyes were hooded and the planes of his face showed only the shadow of the man he'd been before the hell he'd faced. While the bruises were fading, the scars went deeper than mere surface wounds.
Swallowing hard, the warrior took in the expression on his wifes face and knew that he couldn't avoid the conversation they were about to have but he also didn't know how much he could tell her. There were corners of his mind that were so ugly that he shut them away for fear they would polute the things he loved. The persona he put on for his friends and loved ones was fragile at best and he sometimes wondered if it wouldn't have been better if he had died overseas. Jo didn't need another person to care for, that was damned straight.
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Jo Jordan ★
Admin
Hunter Hard rockin, hard hitting wife of Curse Jordan and mother of twins, Jo is her husbands whole world and also the terror of his existance. One of these days, hes seriously going to lock her up if strange things dont stop happening with her
Formerly Jo Harvelle till she went to Vegas that one time.
Posts: 319
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Post by Jo Jordan ★ on Oct 2, 2009 14:56:09 GMT -5
JoJo noticed that he didn't really touch his food. Taking one of the fries and eating it... Mostly for her benefit she figured. He'd lost weight while he was gone of course but what worried her was he hadn't put any back on. Along with the sleeping he just wasn't eating like he should.
While he spoke she rubbed her chin with her fingers. Thinking while she looked at him. Watching him carefully as he opened the bottle of beer she had brought him. When he talked about the babies she couldn't help the small smile that appeared on her face. "Yeah... they are both asleep actually. Amazingly enough. My mom is with them." Her mind drifted to their baby twins for a moment. She nodded as he described their sleep cycle being turned around and the little bits of personality that was already starting to make itself known in the newborns.
As Curse finally turned to look her in the eye Jo looked back. She watched as he set the beer down. Looking at his hands. They had been battered, bruised and broken when he had first come home. At least that part of him seemed to have been mostly healed now. It made her think of something.
She brought her hands up to her neck and found the chain that had been around it for a months now. Pulling the chain up and over her head she took it off. Looking at it and then back to her husband. Taking his hand she turned it over and placed the chain that held his dog tags and wedding band into the palm of his hand. "The swelling in your hands seems to have gone down enough. I think it's time these were returned to you." Curling his hand around the objects she held onto his hand for a moment. Then she felt her lip start to tremble and the emotions started to roll over her. Letting go of his hand she wiped at her eyes, determined not to fall apart and start crying. She fought it back but she didn't know how long she was going to be able to hold back. This was going to be hard for her to get out. Looking at her husband again she spoke softly and pointed to the items in his hand. "You know, that's what they gave me when they told me you were dead. They walked into our home, handed me those and told me you were never coming back to me. I know you went through a lot over there. I know you want to protect me. But... do you KNOW what that did to me when they told me you were dead?" Jo paused for a second to try and gather herself. Blinking as a few tears trickled down. Still trying to hold off the down pour. "It ripped my heart out. I wanted to die, be taken away. I didn't want to go on. EVERYONE told me I had to. I had the babies to worry about. And I did, I had to. Everyone kept telling me that it would get better. That I'd always have a part of you with me. All that did was make me angry. I don't think they even understood... Yeah... Everyday I was going to have to look into those little faces and see YOU staring back at me. Knowing that you'd never be back. That you would never hold me again... EVER." Stopping again for a minute Jo took a deep breath. Then she brought the beer bottle to her lips and took a long drink from it. She looked down at the bottle in her hands and licked her lips trying keep a grip on herself. Finally she set the beer bottle down and brought her eyes back up to meet his. "But... You know what. I got lucky. My own little personal miracle. I got a second chance. WE got another chance. You came home. I know that you are hurt, broken inside. I know you're afraid to tell me things and maybe you don't need to tell me everything. At least at first. But after what I went through thinking you were dead, I think I can handle it. As long as your back home with me, I can handle anything." For now that's all she could say. It was up to him now. She reached out and touched his face gently. Leaning over and giving his lips a brief soft kiss before she pulled back.
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Curse Jordan
*Hunter*
Married Jo Harvelle after a night in Vegas. Who'd a thunk they would end up perfect for each other. Now the father of twins, the ex-Navy Seal badass melts like butter when his wife is around. Ever protective of his family he'll do what's needed to keep them safe.
Posts: 139
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Post by Curse Jordan on Oct 4, 2009 11:17:34 GMT -5
Curse was somewhat startled when Jo reached up and took a chain from around her neck. Yeah, he knew it was there but it hadn't ever occured to him to ask for them back. As she placed them in his hand and curled his fingers around them, he stared down a bit blankly and then looked back up at her when she spook.
"You know, that's what they gave me when they told me you were dead. They walked into our home, handed me those and told me you were never coming back to me. I know you went through a lot over there. I know you want to protect me. But... do you KNOW what that did to me when they told me you were dead?"
Flinching at the words, Curse cussed at himself for being such a selfish ass but he couldn't bring himself to respond. He knew he SHOULD but the memories were so fresh and he didn't want her tainted by any part of them.
"It ripped my heart out. I wanted to die, be taken away. I didn't want to go on. EVERYONE told me I had to. I had the babies to worry about. And I did, I had to. Everyone kept telling me that it would get better. That I'd always have a part of you with me. All that did was make me angry. I don't think they even understood... Yeah... Everyday I was going to have to look into those
Listening, the soldier in him wanted to rage and hit something. He was the reason she had been put through hell and he didn't know how to heal that hurt. He'd known there was a chance that he wouldn't be back when he left but he'd let his damned honor get in the way of family love. His skin felt tight on his bones... As if he were about to explode with the swirling mass of emotions lodged in his middle.
"But... You know what. I got lucky. My own little personal miracle. I got a second chance. WE got another chance. You came home. I know that you are hurt, broken inside. I know you're afraid to tell me things and maybe you don't need to tell me everything. At least at first. But after what I went through thinking you were dead, I think I can handle it. As long as your back home with me, I can handle anything."
As Jo leaned forward to kiss him, her touch quieted the demons inside... Briefly... Growling, he wrapped an arm around her waist and yanked her straight into his lap with no regard for his injuries. Burying his face in her hair, he struggled to breath evenly even as his arms tightened around her. For a long moment, everything in him fought not to shatter into a million pieces.
"Darlin... there wasn't a moment that went by that I didn't think of you and those babies... There were times when I knew I was going to die and all I wanted in this world was to see you one last time.... The drugs... the interagation... the torture... Any of that, I could have handled... but what almost did me in was when they threatened harm to you and my children.... It almost broke me, Joanna.... If it wasn't for Derek and the boys... They probably would have succeeded."
Hiding the tears in her soft golden locks, Curse knew he was breaking down in a way he'd never shown to anyone before. His voice was ragged as he continued.
"A month is a hell of a long time to be held in a shit hole like that.... They murdered innocent women and children in front of my like they were fodder for a canon.... Injected so many drugs into me.. I can still feel the effects even now.... We are trained to with stand brutality.... To be beaten, tortured or mutilated to the extreme...... but until you are actually in that position... you can't imagine the impact of it...... "
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Jo Jordan ★
Admin
Hunter Hard rockin, hard hitting wife of Curse Jordan and mother of twins, Jo is her husbands whole world and also the terror of his existance. One of these days, hes seriously going to lock her up if strange things dont stop happening with her
Formerly Jo Harvelle till she went to Vegas that one time.
Posts: 319
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Post by Jo Jordan ★ on Oct 4, 2009 13:40:32 GMT -5
JoJo watched as his facial expressions changed and she could see different emotions flashing across his face even as he tried to suppress them. She was taken off guard a bit as his arm reached out for her she found herself plopped in his lap. An instinctive yelp escaped her but she quickly recovered and put her arms around him. Letting her cheek rest on his chest as she hugged him to her.
When he spoke she could hear it in his voice, the raw emotion that was there. It was clear to her that he was struggling for control. All she could do was hold him tight as he spoke. Her instinct to protect him was as strong as his instinct to protect her was. Their methods of going about it might have been different but Jo would have taken a bullet for this man she loved just as quickly as he would sacrifice himself to keep her safe. "Darlin... there wasn't a moment that went by that I didn't think of you and those babies... There were times when I knew I was going to die and all I wanted in this world was to see you one last time.... The drugs... the interagation... the torture... Any of that, I could have handled... but what almost did me in was when they threatened harm to you and my children.... It almost broke me, Joanna.... If it wasn't for Derek and the boys... They probably would have succeeded." As he continued speaking she held onto him. At the mention of his capturer's threats of harm to her and the babies she stiffened. Right then she knew that the word "almost" needed to be stricken from those phrases. There was no almost about it, they had broken him. He had felt helpless and powerless to protect her and their children. She knew a little bit about that, having gone through some of the same feelings knowing he was far away and in danger and there had been nothing she could do but wait.
Tears fell down her cheeks freely now and she buried her face deeper into his chest. He continued to talk and her heart broke for him. She gasped slightly when he mentioned the women and children that were killed in front of him. The hell he had gone through, she knew it had been terrible but there was no way should could have ever imagined all that they had done to him.
Even though he was struggling to speak and just as difficult for Jo to hear about without wanting to just stop him and tell him it was just a bad dream or something. At the same time she was relieved that he had finally started to talk to her. She knew it was the only way he was going to get through this ordeal and heal. The only way they were both going to be able to put their lives back together.
So... she stayed quiet and let him talk. Lifting her head back at one point she looked up at him. Carefully she brought her hand up to his face and brushed away a tear with her fingers. Then she leaned back into his chest and squeezed him tightly. Letting him continue on or sit there quietly. Whatever he needed to do right now. It was all about him at the moment. That's all she cared about.
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Curse Jordan
*Hunter*
Married Jo Harvelle after a night in Vegas. Who'd a thunk they would end up perfect for each other. Now the father of twins, the ex-Navy Seal badass melts like butter when his wife is around. Ever protective of his family he'll do what's needed to keep them safe.
Posts: 139
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Post by Curse Jordan on Oct 5, 2009 14:43:53 GMT -5
Vaguely, Curse was aware of Jo's touch but the nightmare of his days in that compound had emersed him in a flood of memories. His eyes were a bit wild looking as he struggled to find words to explain his torment.
"Those first couple weeks... I held out. Hoping against hope that someone would be coming in to find me. Logically, I knew the chances were slim but I couldn't let go of that lifeline..... Hell, I laughed in their faces when the beat me black and blue. Pain was nothing. Over and over I closed myself off to physical discomfort and all that while.... I promised myself that I wouldn't let you down by dieing in that hell hole....."
Unable to remain seated in the storm of his emotions, Curse gently sat his wife from him and got to his feet. With his leg encased in a brace, his movements were slow but he began to pace the floor as he was engrossed in his thoughts.
"The son of a bitchs tried everything in the book... But you know what the real kicker was? It was when they showed me the little escape charade that lead to me being "dead" that I was forced to admit to myself that I might not be able to keep the last promise I made you... the promise that I was coming home."
Running a hand through his sandy hair, the hunter suddenly exploded. Lashing out, he swept everything that was on the work bench off with a sweep of an arm.
"In hind sight, it was probably a blessing when they started shooting me up with the drugs they thought would break me... At least then, I wasn't aware of the failure I'd become.... "
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Jo Jordan ★
Admin
Hunter Hard rockin, hard hitting wife of Curse Jordan and mother of twins, Jo is her husbands whole world and also the terror of his existance. One of these days, hes seriously going to lock her up if strange things dont stop happening with her
Formerly Jo Harvelle till she went to Vegas that one time.
Posts: 319
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Post by Jo Jordan ★ on Oct 6, 2009 10:31:02 GMT -5
JoJo continued to sit in Curse's lap listening. Letting her hand glide up and down his back, trying her best to be comforting but not over bearing. She was a bit startled when Curse picked her up and set her back in the chair he had just vacated. Settling herself in the chair she pulled her knees up to her chest and hugged her own arms around them as she watched him pace around the room restlessly.
Following him with her eyes she could see he was getting more and more angry. When he mentioned keeping his promise to her, about coming home it brought to mind her own memories on how angry she had been. Not at him, but at the man who brought her the news, the government, the world really. She had needed someone to blame. Right now, Curse was blaming himself when it wasn't his fault at all. In his state she didn't think he could see that though.
She steeled herself for some kind of explosion to erupt from him so she wasn't completely taken off guard when it finally happened and he dumped everything off the table to the ground in one fell swoop. Jo struggled to keep her own self from losing control of her emotions. She blinked her eyes and chewed her lip but she didn't flinch as everything went crashing to the floor. Then he spoke again. "In hind sight, it was probably a blessing when they started shooting me up with the drugs they thought would break me... At least then, I wasn't aware of the failure I'd become.... " That last statement hit Jo hard. She opened her mouth to say something then closed it again. Not sure if she should say anything yet or not. But the whole idea that he thought of himself as failing, in anyway was so far from the truth. It was his mind telling him that, blaming himself again. Still sitting in the chair Jo finally spoke up. Loud enough that she knew he could hear her even if he was trying to block things out. "NO! Curse, No... You didn't fail anyone. You didn't fail your mission, you didn't fail your Country, and you sure as hell didn't fail ME. You did everything you were supposed to do. Everything you could do." Jo paused for a moment, not sure if he was listening or paying attention to her at this point. Taking in a deep breath she decided to say something else anyway. Something she thought he needed to hear. She wasn't sure how he'd react to it though. "Curse... Things happen for a reason. I believe that. Maybe you had to take that mission to learn something. To know that... being a soldier isn't what your life is about anymore. Before when you went on missions they could never hurt you with something like threatening me or the twins. Now... Well obviously you have more in your life, you have things that are important... People who need you." Jo cleared her throat a little. She didn't want to sound like she was telling him that his choice was wrong because that wasn't the case. He HAD to go on that mission. She knew that. It was something they both had needed to learn. Their lives had both changed since they had met. Priorities had changed for them. "Baby... I mean... You have done so much for your Country already. Always going when you were called. And you did your job better than most anyone ever could have. You can't SAVE everyone and that doesn't make you a failure. You did the most important thing that you needed to do. YOU MADE IT BACK HOME. Whatever happened in between then is over." Sitting back in the chair Jo looked at her husband. What she really wanted to do was rush over to him and hold him again. She resisted that for now. Thinking he probably needed his space to think about what she had said. Not sure if anything she had said would make sense to him in his current condition. If he was ready he'd come to her.
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Curse Jordan
*Hunter*
Married Jo Harvelle after a night in Vegas. Who'd a thunk they would end up perfect for each other. Now the father of twins, the ex-Navy Seal badass melts like butter when his wife is around. Ever protective of his family he'll do what's needed to keep them safe.
Posts: 139
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Post by Curse Jordan on Oct 8, 2009 10:05:59 GMT -5
"Curse... Things happen for a reason. I believe that. Maybe you had to take that mission to learn something. To know that... being a soldier isn't what your life is about anymore. Before when you went on missions they could never hurt you with something like threatening me or the twins. Now... Well obviously you have more in your life, you have things that are important... People who need you."
Curse heard the words she was saying and knew that they made sense but it didn't ease the ache in his chest. Since being back, he'd struggled with the need to come to terms with the hell he'd lived but it only seemed to grow blacker with each passing day. He felt like a ghost of himself at times. He hated the fact that he'd felt so helpless even though, logically, he knew it wasn't truly his fault.
"Baby... I mean... You have done so much for your Country already. Always going when you were called. And you did your job better than most anyone ever could have. You can't SAVE everyone and that doesn't make you a failure. You did the most important thing that you needed to do. YOU MADE IT BACK HOME. Whatever happened in between then is over."
Sighing, the handsome hunter braced his hands on the work desk and took a deep ragged breath. Closing his eyes, he desperately tried to get a grip on his anger and frustration so that his wife wouldn't see the wreck she was tied too. Her words should have eased him but he couldn't seem to just let it go. Every time he closed his eyes, he heard them... Saw the faces of the bastards that had almost taken his world and family from him. If it hadn't been for Devoux... They would have succeeded.
Drawing himself up finally, Curse looked over at his wife but avoided her eyes. He felt raw and exposed at the moment and in desperate need of some space. Moving towards her awkwardly, he leaned down and gave her a kiss on the cheek before pulling away. Not allowing her time to try to hold him, the hunter picked up his jacket and said.
"I need to run over to Jess's place and pick up some weapons she needs modified. I shouldn't be gone to long. Can you handle things for a few hours? I promise to take care of the babies so you can get a nap in this afternoon if you like..."
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Jo Jordan ★
Admin
Hunter Hard rockin, hard hitting wife of Curse Jordan and mother of twins, Jo is her husbands whole world and also the terror of his existance. One of these days, hes seriously going to lock her up if strange things dont stop happening with her
Formerly Jo Harvelle till she went to Vegas that one time.
Posts: 319
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Post by Jo Jordan ★ on Oct 8, 2009 12:42:20 GMT -5
JoJo kept her eyes on her husband, watching him intensely. His body was still full of tension and she was sure that not much she said was making much of a difference for him. She wasn't surprised really, she figured it would mostly take him some time to right himself, but that didn't mean it didn't sting a bit that she couldn't get through to him.
Still sitting in the chair with her knees hugged up to her chest and her chin resting on her knees. She could see him struggling internally. When he turned around he avoided looking at her. He gave her a quick kiss then back off rapidly before speaking. Blinking rapidly a few times as he said he had to go take care of some business. This actually did surprise her. Avoiding looking into her eyes, not wanting to talk and keeping himself closed off was one thing, but he was actually going to leave to now to get away from her? "Ummm... Sure, the babies will be fine. Don't worry about it." Jo sighed heavily as he left the room. Sitting there alone in the chair she felt at a loss to help him and that hurt her more than he could ever know.
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