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Post by Ben Braeden on Nov 11, 2009 0:30:32 GMT -5
And if I only could, Make a deal with God, And get him to swap our places, Be running up that road, Be running up that hill, Be running up that building. If I only could, oh... ((Takes place the night before the 5 Years Gone thread begins)) It was chilly night, the wind blowing against him causing Ben Braeden to pull his jacket closer to him. Everyone else in the compound was most likely asleep, but not him. He was still out front at the gates, watching, waiting. Max and Lexi Blair, his adopted parents, and Curse Jordan, a close friend of all of theirs, were still gone after they were scheduled to have returned earlier that day. Everyone had told Ben to calm down when they hadn't arrived, not to overreact, but Ben couldn't help it. The idea of the people who had raised him out there, in a world full of croates and demons, made him sick to his stomach. "I should be out there..."[/b] He said to himself, speaking out loud as if there was someway that someone out there could hear him, as if it'd make a difference. He had begged for them to let him go, even demanded it. There was no reason he shouldn't have gotten to go, he said that to them. He had gone on plenty of scouting missions, helped retrieve supplies, he'd done it all. But nothing he'd said had convinced them, no matter what, it'd always ended with them saying the same thing. He was not allowed to go, he was staying on the compound. Usually, that answer would have just made him sneak onto the mission, go without telling them, but seeing how it was them personally going on this one, he had no choice but to do what they'd said. Now, he was stuck back at the compound, waiting, already worried that something had happened. Groaning loudly, he leaned back against a post, pulling his earphones out of his jacket pocket and putting them in, going back to watching the gates, waiting for any sign that they were coming back, each second that didn't happen making him want to go out looking for them even more.
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Jazz Tarin
*Civilian*
Daughter of Shane Tarin
Hell on Wheels, [br]Just Like My Mother
Posts: 15
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Post by Jazz Tarin on Nov 11, 2009 1:58:04 GMT -5
JazzJazz had once again been watching the security monitors set up in the office of their house. It was fairly late out and her mother and the babies were all asleep. Trey was up at the headquarters building overseeing the security duty that night. Which meant, what she was about to do was probably going to get her into trouble. But it didn't matter she felt like she had to go, it was important to her.
She had seen Ben on the camera's. Waiting by the front gates. Just standing there gazing out at the outside world. Jazz knew what he was thinking and most likely what he was planning. He was worried about Lexi, Max and Curse who hadn't returned yet.
Getting up from the desk in the office she went back to her bedroom and started changing her clothes. Taking off her pajamas she tugged on an old pair of jeans and a black long sleeve t-shirt. Over the top of that she pulled on a pink girly t-shirt with the AC/DC logo on it in black. Too bad AC/DC wasn't around anymore, they rocked she thought to herself. Too bad NO bands were around anymore. One more thing in her growing up years she was going to miss. Rock concerts.
Sighing she sat down on her bed and slipped her feet into her pink hi-top converse chuck taylors. Quickly tying the laces and then getting up again. She grabbed the black leather bomber jacket that hung on the hook of her closet door and shrugged into it.
Silently she made her way out of the house and out the front door so she didn't wake her mother. She knew that she'd show up on the camera's and with Trey on duty he'd probably see her. It wasn't a big thing, she'd deal with the fall out of that tomorrow. Talking to Ben seemed more important at the moment.
Stuffing her hands in the pockets of the old worn jacket that used to be her mother's she walked along the path that wound through the compound. It was a little ways to the front gate but not to bad of a walk. It was a bit chilly out so she kept her arms tucked close to her body as she walked.
Jazz saw Ben leaning against a post watching the gate intently. Moving toward him she was pretty sure he had already heard her coming. Everyone's senses were pretty sharp these days. As she got closer she walked around the post and stood in front of him. Giving him a raised eyebrow look and a smirk. "Heya Ben, whatcha doin' out here so late all by your lonesome?" Letting her gaze fall to his face. Watching his expression. She already knew the answer but she wanted to see what he had to say. They had become pretty good friends over the last few years.
There weren't really any other kids their age around the compound. Jazz knew that Ben had run into other kids their age when he went out on runs to the outside world. But Jazz didn't get to do that too much. So she hadn't met many others. It was OK though. They got along well for the most part and they shared a similar bond.
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Post by Ben Braeden on Nov 12, 2009 23:41:27 GMT -5
And if I only could, Make a deal with God, And get him to swap our places, Be running up that road, Be running up that hill, Be running up that building. If I only could, oh... It was definitely a cold night. Not even the layers of clothes he was wearing, an undershirt, his favorite black t-shirt, a charcoal button up, and his black M-16 field jacket, kept him from feeling chills each time the wind blew past him, although part of him wondered if it wasn't the wind that made him feel those chills. Part of him wondered if it wasn't fear, or worry, that was causing him to feel chills. Digging his boots into the sand underneath his feet, listening to the slow beat of the song playing in his ears, part of him felt like he was doing wrong by just sitting there. What would they do if it was him out there? Wouldn't they come looking for him? I should be looking for them... I should be helping them... I need to get them home... Bastian and Simi need Max and Lexi... Jo and the kids need Curse...Even in his mind, Ben couldn't seem to admit that he needed Max and Lexi, and even Curse, just as much as the others. They all meant a lot to him, and though he couldn't bring himself to admit it, he loved them, they were his family. Sighing deeply, he slumped back against the post, accidentally pulling one of the earphones out of his ear. Groaning, he stood up, grabbing the earphone and raising it back up towards his ear, only to stop as he heard someone approaching him. He listened for a moment, and then put the earphone back in, taking a second to lower the volume of his mp3 player, just enough so that he could hear the person approaching behind him, just in case. It may seem like paranoia, but everyone was like it. Someone sneaking up on you could be your downfall, and do to this fact many people had worked on sharpening their senses, it made them more likely to survive in a world where humans were an endangered species. As the person walked closer to him, Ben didn't even flinch, didn't even turn away from the gate. Part of him knew who it was, could tell from the weight of their footsteps. "Heya Ben, whatcha doin' out here so late all by your lonesome?"Glancing over at her, Ben saw her smirk, and offered her a light smirk back. Jazz Tarin Coulter, one of the few people that ever got anything close to a smile from Ben anymore. They were the only people really close in age on the compound, everyone else either older than them or younger, so growing up post-apocalypse, they had become good friends. Ben was surprised, in some ways, they had never been more, but he felt a lot of that was probably him. Ben had been with girls, even at fifteen, he'd been with a few girls, most of them older than him, but he looked older than he was, so not much was ever said. He'd met girls closer to his age on some of his journeys off the compound, but not many, so Jazz was special, one of the few people he could relate to as a teenager, what was left of him that really was a teenager, anyway. “Oh, I don't know. You know, felt like a midnight stroll, decided to take a break here,” he replied to her question, glancing over at her again before chuckling lightly. His smile didn't last long, though, soon standing back up straight and letting his expression fade back to normal. He knew she knew why he was standing there, he was pretty sure she probably wasn't the only one that knew he was still out there, but it didn't matter to him. He felt like he needed to wait, and he was going to. It was nice to have company though, especially Jazz's. Looking over at her again, he tugged his earphones out, turning off the mp3 player as he stood with her, no longer needing it now that he had someone to talk to. Looking at her, Ben couldn't help but notice how she was dressed. A pink AC/DC t-shirt, which to Ben was awesome, even if it was more of a girl shirt. AC/DC ruled, even with bands pretty much a thing of the past, Ben still remembered loving them as a kid, and still listened to them all the time. Leather jacket was a great touch too. ”You look great tonight, by the way. Get dressed up just to come check on me? Or did you just want to look good when for me in general?”[/b] He asked, picking on her in hopes of lightening the mood. He had become pretty cold-hearted, sure, or that's how he made himself seem to everyone, but he wasn't completely gone. He didn't want to give into the darkness inside him, truth was, he wanted the exact opposite. He wanted to be a good person, to help people, but this was who he'd become. This was his way of trying to keep from being hurt, or from hurting other people. Keep himself distanced, try not to get close to people. Things were different with Jazz though. He didn't know why, though he figured it was because growing up they were around each other so much, and had become good friends, though sometimes that reason didn't seem to be enough. He could talk to her. He could joke with her. When he was around her, he was able to be more open, though still not open enough that it seemed like it, not to him. He was still distant with her, but not as much as with everyone else.
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Jazz Tarin
*Civilian*
Daughter of Shane Tarin
Hell on Wheels, [br]Just Like My Mother
Posts: 15
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Post by Jazz Tarin on Nov 14, 2009 5:11:31 GMT -5
JazzJazz watched him and waited for him to respond. Forcing her hands deeper into her jacket pockets trying to ward off the cold night air. She rolled her eyes and shook her head at his response to her question. Yeah, right he was just taking a walk.
Tilting her head down her long ash blond hair (which had some streaks of pink in it) fell across her face as she looked at the ground for a few minutes and kicked at some dirt. Normally it wasn't hard for her to talk to Ben. They had known each other since they were nine and ten years old. They were pretty much best friends. But, right now she felt a little self conscious. Like she just didn't want to butt her nose in where she didn't belong. She was worried about him though and lately her feelings for him had seemed to change a little bit, it was somewhat confusing to her.
Clenching her jaw she looked back up at him and tried to smile a little. Tucking some stray strands of hair behind her ear. Suddenly she felt a little bit strange when he mentioned how she looked. Feeling herself blush a little bit but at the same time scrunching up her face and giving him a funny look. "Uh, thanks. Isn't this kind of how I always dress? I guess I could have ran out here in my pajamas and slippers." Then she couldn't help but chuckle a little and give him a shrug. A full smile appeared on her face. At least he was talking to her, trying to anyway. He was making the effort not to be too broody. That was good she thought. "So are we just gonna stand here all night until they get back? I don't think standing here watching the gate is going to help. Only make you worry more. We could ACTUALLY go for a walk or something." Pulling her arms in closer to herself as a cold breeze when by and she shivered. Walking would be good, standing here not moving she was going to freeze her ass off.
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Post by Ben Braeden on Nov 14, 2009 6:06:09 GMT -5
And if I only could, Make a deal with God, And get him to swap our places, Be running up that road, Be running up that hill, With no problems Ben couldn't help but chuckle at her, seeing her process what he'd just said. At first, she just kinda smiled, or tried to was a better way to put it. Then, even in what little light that the security lights offered, he saw her blush a little, and he realized what he'd actually just done. Had he just flirted with her? "Uh... yeah..."[/b] He could barely reply as his mind began to race, simply turning away for a moment and clearing his throat, feeling stupid for what he was thinking at that moment. Sure, he and Jazz had been friends, since he was ten years old, but that was all they were, right? "PJ's and slippers, huh? Now that would have been a funny sight..."[/b] Faking a laugh, he turned back to her, ignoring his thoughts for the most part as they stood there. Her idea of going for a walk sounded really good to him, though her pointing out his worry for the others made him embarrassed. Was he that transparent? He hoped not, if so it meant he probably seemed weak to people in his mind. Maybe it was just Jazz who could figure him out that easy. "Yeah, walk sounds fine I guess, us talkin' will probably help me clear my head. So, yeah, walk sounds good,"[/b] he replied, walking over to stand by her, taking only a moment to look back at the gate. "I've stood there for hours now, and what has it gotten me? Bupkiss, that's what. So... Yeah, let's walk."[/b] Shrugging further into his jacket, he felt the popped collar of the jacket rest against his neck, his hands now buried in his pockets. The wind was cold, even with all this, but every little bit helped. "So... Just wanna walk around the compound or... Wanna head over to our usual spot?[/b] He asked, stopping from where he'd started walking to look back at her, a faint smile appearing as he looked at her. Turning back around, he waited for her to walk over to him before continuing forward. Looking over at her, he felt himself smile as he nudged her lightly in a joking manner, laughing a little.
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Jazz Tarin
*Civilian*
Daughter of Shane Tarin
Hell on Wheels, [br]Just Like My Mother
Posts: 15
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Post by Jazz Tarin on Nov 16, 2009 4:44:47 GMT -5
JazzJazz nodded her head as he agreed to the walk. When he came over next to her she looked up at him. She rolled her eyes at him when he mentioned he had been standing there for hours. Before they started to walk Ben asked where they should go. It didn't really matter to Jazz. "Well... Whatever you feel like doing. If you want to head to the spot that's cool. It should be at least a little warmer since it will block some of the wind. AND we can sit down. Then we can just talk if you want. Or whatever." Jazz started walking after Ben, hurrying up a little to catch up. She poked him in the ribs with her elbow after he nudged her and they both laughed at that. It was good to hear him laugh, even if it was just a little bit.
As they walked on they didn't talk a lot yet. Just some small talk and chatting back and forth. It didn't take long for them to get to their "spot", which was really just a small storage building. Not much more than a shed really. It was pretty much abandoned most of the time. Nothing was really kept in there that people needed. Jazz and Ben had long ago set it up as kind of their own little hang out. A table, chairs, an old couch, they even had an old CD player and a pretty good collection of CD's so they could listen to music. It was just a place they could always go to chill out, kick back and talk if they needed to.
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Post by Ben Braeden on Nov 21, 2009 16:41:34 GMT -5
And if I only could, Make a deal with God, And get him to swap our places, Be running up that road, Be running up that hill, With no problems Walking into the storage building that Ben and Jazz had for so long claimed as their hang-out spot, Ben felt the shift in temperature, and almost sighed in relief as the warmth of the building surrounded them. It wasn't much to look at, a little storage shack, but to them, it'd always been the best place on the compound. They'd always brought whatever they could find to make it better, and anytime he could, Ben had grabbed stuff on his trips outside the compound, CD's, blankets, comic books, anything really. It wasn't much, but they'd definitely made it better than it had been. A table, some chairs, an old but comfortable couch, all the other stuff they'd found, and of course Ben had set up a few punching bags and other things for training. It was their own little escape, a place for them to come when they needed to get away, or just wanted to hang out, to kick back, relax, and talk. Flipping on a generator in the corner, Ben waited until the lights came on and then walked over to the couch, flopping back onto it with a loud sigh. Looking up at Jazz, he smirked lightly, forced as usual but it was better than nothing to him, before shrugging out of his jacket and laying it over the back of the couch. "This friggin' sucks, Jazz... This really friggin' sucks..."[/b] Sighing deeply, he leaned back, laying his head against the couch, closing his eyes for a moment as he sat there. He couldn't help but worry about them still, worry about Lexi, Max, and Curse. They were still out there, somewhere. Every cell in his body, every fiber of his being, was screaming at him to go after them, to go find them. Why were things like this? Why had they lost everything, lsot everyone they'd known and loved? Ben missed the old world, as screwed up as it'd been, he missed it. Truth was, he would give anything to go back. To fix everything. Not just before the End of the World, before even that. If he could go back and fix EVERYTHING, he would. But that was stupid, he knew it. It was stupid to think like that. Standing up, he walked around the room, walking over to a target board hanging on the wall he used to throw knives at. Running his finger over the holes in it, he sighed deeply, turning back to look at Jazz.
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Jazz Tarin
*Civilian*
Daughter of Shane Tarin
Hell on Wheels, [br]Just Like My Mother
Posts: 15
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Post by Jazz Tarin on Nov 23, 2009 22:12:20 GMT -5
JazzJazz walked into the building pausing for a moment while Ben went flipped the generator on to give them lights and electricity. Glancing over at Ben out of the corner of her eye she saw him sag into the couch. She saw him smirk but knew he wasn't in a good mood.
Jazz went straight to the bookcase where they had the all their CD's. They had amassed quite a collection and the shelves were lined with them. Jazz looked through them while she listened to Ben as he let out some of his frustration. "This friggin' sucks, Jazz... This really friggin' sucks..." [/b][/blockquote] She nodded her head as she continued to search through the CD's. Finally finding the one she wanted she pulled it out of the line of CD's, Led Zeppelin's Mothership. Moving over to the CD player she gave Ben a look. "Yeah, I know. But what can you do really? I'm sure they're fine. You know shit happens out there that delays them. They have Lexi with them. She kicks ass. I'm sure they will be home any time now." Jazz noticed Ben get up while she was looking at the CD in her hand. He wandered over to the wall with the target. She shook her head, knowing he was restless. Opening up the CD case she plucked out the little silver disk and popped it into the player, skipping several song until she got to one particular song. When she got to the song she stepped away from the CD player. "Maybe this will cheer you up a little." Giving him a huge grin as she took off her leather jacket and tossed it over the back of one of the chairs. Then she moved to the middle of the room as the music started to play. Jazz closed her eyes, lifted her arms into the air and started to dance and sing along as Ramble On started to come through the speakers. "Leaves are falling all around, Time I was on my way. Thanks to you, I'm much obliged for such a pleasant stay. But now it's time for me to go. The autumn moon lights my way. For now I smell the rain, And with it pain, And it's headed my way.
Sometimes I grow so tired, But I know I've got one thing I got to do...
Ramble On, And now's the time, The time is now, To sing my song. I'm goin' 'round the world, I got to find my girl, On my way. I've been this way ten years to the day, Ramble On, Find the queen of all my dreams." Music was something Jazz loved. She loved all kinds of music. It flashed through her head for a moment the memory of her mom's club. That was long gone now. But, she wasn't going to dwell on the past. She continued to get into the music and dance.[/blockquote]
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Post by Ben Braeden on Nov 23, 2009 22:44:29 GMT -5
Ben just stood there for a minute, watching Jazz grabbed a CD. He had a million things he wanted to say, but as soon as she spoke, he felt relieved that she had, meaning he didn't HAVE to say any of it. Most of it would probably sound sappy, sound chick flicky, something he avoided EVEN more than anything else.
"Yeah, I know. But what can you do really? I'm sure they're fine. You know shit happens out there that delays them. They have Lexi with them. She kicks ass. I'm sure they will be home any time now."
He heard her words, and truth was, they made since. She was right, what could he do? If he left right now, in the dark, could he make it? Could he find them? They were probably hiding out somewhere. Croates were most active at night, and demons, smoke and possessed, were all over the place at night. He doubted he could make it. Even with the fact that he was probably the cockiest person on the planet since they'd lost Dean, he wasn't completely stupid. He knew that one person versus a million evil creatures didn't look good for him, which meant if he was going to do anything, he'd have to wait until sunrise.
Pulling the knife out of the hidden holster in his jacket, he took a few steps back, tossing it at the target, barely missing the bullseye. What could he say? All that practice he'd done had payed off, he was just as good as a lot of adults, even at only fifteen.
"Maybe this will cheer you up a little."
Sighing lightly, he walked over to the wall, pulling the knife out of the target before turning back to look at her.
"Maybe what will cheer me up?"[/b]
Seeing her grin, he raised his brow, crossing his arms as he watched he toss her jacket over one of the chairs, then he heard the music start, and the familiar smirk, one that looked so much like Dean's once had, appeared, something that hadn't happened in a long time.
Ramble On, one of Ben's two favorite songs. He couldn't believe she had put that in, well, actually he could. Leave it to Jazz to pull something like this. She was always doing SOMETHING to try to cheer him up.
"Ramble On..."[/b]
His voice was almost a whisper, barely able to speak as he watched Jazz start to move. At first he wasn't sure what she was going to do, then his smirk grew as he watched her dance, looking her over as she moved, listening to her voice as she sang, singing along as well under his breath.
"Leaves are falling all around, Time I was on my way. Thanks to you, I'm much obliged for such a pleasant stay. But now it's time for me to go. The autumn moon lights my way. For now I smell the rain, And with it pain, And it's headed my way.
Sometimes I grow so tired, But I know I've got one thing I got to do...
Ramble On, And now's the time, The time is now, To sing my song. I'm goin' 'round the world, I got to find my girl, On my way. I've been this way ten years to the day, Ramble On, Find the queen of all my dreams."
Hearing those words, singing them to himself, a thought occurred to Ben, one that had occasionally gone through his mind, but one he'd never acted on. Jazz... His best friend for years, the only girl he'd ever gotten close to really, the only relationship he'd ever had that was more than flirting or physical attraction.
That's all they'd ever been though, friends, not that Ben hadn't thought about it. She was cute, and he always had fun with her. But what could happen, really?
Groaning, he leaned back against the wall, watching her dance, singing the song, as he simply listened, watched her dance, watched her body move around.
Finally getting over himself, he stood up, pushing the the rolled up sleeves of his button-up shirt up a little more, then walked over to Jess quietly, still smirking, looking almost like his old cocky self as he got closer to her, moving behind her, slowly getting into the motion of the song, soon dancing along with her as the song played, smiling. For that moment, is was as if the whole world faded away, as if he could actually smile, as if he could actually be happy.
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Jazz Tarin
*Civilian*
Daughter of Shane Tarin
Hell on Wheels, [br]Just Like My Mother
Posts: 15
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Post by Jazz Tarin on Nov 24, 2009 2:19:26 GMT -5
JazzJazz kept dancing, her eyes closed, feeling the music. She rocked her body to the beat, swaying her hips. A smile on her face. She wasn't really aware of what Ben was doing. Though she could hear him very softly singing along. That made her smirk and she started to sing louder.
"Got no time to for spreadin' roots, The time has come to be gone And though our health we drank a thousand times It's time to ramble on
Ramble on, And now's the time, The time is now Sing my song, I'm goin' 'round the world I've gotta find my girl On my way, I've been this way ten years to the day I gotta ramble on, I gotta find the queen of all my dreams."
Jazz noticed Ben stopped singing at some point. Wondering if he was just brooding again. She just kept on. Wanting to stay in a good mood, hopefully it would rub off on him. They had listened to this song so many times. Both of them knew every word, every beat by heart.
After a few moments Jazz noticed Ben had moved in close behind her. She opened her eyes, a surprised expression on her face that he couldn't see. This was new she thought. Ben wasn't usually much for dancing. But, she thought maybe he was just trying to shake his mood and try to have some fun with her.
Jazz turned around too face him. Giving him a big smile. Happy that he was trying to get into the music with her. She put her arms up on his shoulders and crossed her wrist behind his neck. Still singing she danced with him, grinning happily, enjoying the moment.
"I tell you no lie
Mine's a tale that can't be told, My freedom I hold dear How years ago in days of old when magic filled the air 'twas in the darkest depths of Mordor, I met a girl so fair But Gollum and the evil warg crept up and slipped away with her, her, her, her, her yeah, And ain't nothin' I can do, no
I guess I'll keep on ramblin', I'm gonna (Sh-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah,) Sing my song I've gotta find my baby I'm gonna ramble on, Sing my song Gonna work my way all around the world (Baby, baby) Ramble on, yeah"
(Songs starts to ad-lib and fade out)
Jazz was having a good time. She was glad she could at least bring Ben out of his slump a little bit, even if it was probably on for a short time. Any stolen minutes of happiness they could find were like gold and she held onto them tightly in her memories. And this was now one of them.
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Post by Ben Braeden on Nov 24, 2009 2:37:55 GMT -5
As Ben moved behind Jazz, dancing along with her, he was surprised when she turned around, smiling at him. She was still singing as he continued to dance with her, her arms rising up, wrapping around his neck.
He was amazed at this moment, amazed at how he felt. He could'nt help but grin along with her as the moved along with the music, swaying and moving together, their bodies occasionally moving against the other, Ben's eyes never leaving her face, watching her as she sang, loving seeing her happy, seeing her smile. It was one of the few times in five years that he had truly smiled, smiled and meant it.
They continued dancing as the song continued, Ben finally singing along with her, though much more quietly than her. He couldn't believe this was happening, that he felt like he did. Especially for Jazz, but it was happening, and not only that, he was dancing. DANCING. Who would have ever thought there would be a day when Ben Braeden would dance, by his own CHOICE?!
Each time they moved Ben felt himself move closer to her, the space in between Jazz and himself becoming less and less as the song neared it's end. Soon, his hand found itself on her hip, but he barely noticed, as if it had moved on it's own. Then, the song faded out, and they were left there as the next song began, laughing, neither one of them moving from where they were. It was as if they were frozen in that moment, and as corny as it was, Ben didn't mind.
Looking down into her eyes, Ben smiled at her, a true honest smile. Not his usual Casanova flirtatious smile he gave other girls, not the forced smile he gave everyone to make it seem like he was okay, a REAL smile.
Can this really be happening... Can I really be feeling this for someone? For Jazz?
As he gazed in her eyes, one hand on her hip, he brought the other up, his fingers grazing across her cheek as he leaned in.
"Jazz... I...."[/b] He couldn't even make a sentence in his mind as he leaned into her, his lips lightly pressing against hers as the music once again picked up and filled the shed with sound.
It's real... This is real... I'm here... Kissing Jazz...[/i]
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Jazz Tarin
*Civilian*
Daughter of Shane Tarin
Hell on Wheels, [br]Just Like My Mother
Posts: 15
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Post by Jazz Tarin on Dec 1, 2009 2:59:52 GMT -5
JazzJazz couldn't help but smile. She was glad that Ben was loosening up. It was worth the trouble she was going to be in for sneaking out, to see him having fun. He took to much on himself, he never got the chance to just be a kid. Neither one of them did really, but for him things had been more difficult.
When the music stopped they laughed. Then it was quiet for a moment and it got awkward as they stood there. He was staring into her eyes and all she could do was stare back. Frozen in place. It was then Jazz realized that that his hand was on her hip, pulling her toward him. Then his other hand was touching her face. Her eyes closed automatically as their lips met and she found herself kissing him back. At least she was pretty sure she was kissing back, having never been kissed before she wasn't sure but it seemed right.
After a few moments Jazz realized the music was on again and it brought her back to reality. She pulled away from Ben, not abruptly but she was taken by surprise by the kiss. Her hand went up to cover her mouth and she just looked at him for a minute. She had no idea what to say at that moment. The only thing going through her head was "Wow, Ben just kissed me."
Finally she found the ability to move her feet. Jazz made a beeline for the couch and flopped herself down on it. Sitting back, pulling her knees up to her chest as she looked down at the ground. Feeling her face flush with heat, knowing her cheeks were probably bright red at the moment.
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Post by Ben Braeden on Dec 1, 2009 3:29:31 GMT -5
Ben was totally lost in the moment as he stood there, one arm around Jazz's waist, the other on the side of her face, his thumb stroking her cheek as he kissed her. Truth was, he had been so lost in the moment, he didn't even realize what was happening, not really. He knew he was kissing her, knew how he was feeling, but it's almost as if it wasn't registering in his brain that he was kissing Jazz, his best friend.
Suddenly, as fast as the kiss had happened, it ended. Ben was shocked when Jazz pulled back, even more so as what had really just happened finally came together in his mind.
Was I... Did I... I just kissed Jazz?!
Looking down at her, he just stood there, staring at her. She was just looking at him, her hand covering her mouth. He felt so stupid. Why had he done that? It was obvious that she was upset he had, so why had he kissed her? And, a better question, why did he want to kiss her AGAIN?
"Jazz, I..."[/b] He couldn't even finish his thought as he stood there. He didn't know what to say.
Should he apologize? Does she regret it, is she angry? Part of him was hoping that she just wasn't sure how to react, or what to think about what had just happened, but that thought and all other good ones were instantly destroyed by what happened next.
Within an instant, Jazz was no longer standing in front of him. She had turned from him, making a bee line straight to the couch, obviously trying to get away from him. He felt horrible as he stood there, he felt rejected and stupid. He wasn't sure what had really just happened, but he recognized rejection, despite the fact of how rarely he'd experienced it in his life. This time though, the pain he felt was real. Jazz was his best friend, and to be rejected by her was like someone taking a knife and slamming it straight through his heart.
Turning away from her, he groaned loudly, mentally kicking himself as he stood there, unable to leave but at the same time unable to bring himself to look at or speak to Jazz.
"Son of a bitch... How could I be SO stupid!"
He said it out loud, but not loud enough for it to be heard, or at least that's what he thought. He wasn't sure if Jazz was listening to him or not, with the music playing, he hoped it had drowned his voice out.
Running his hands through his hair, messing up his faux hawk in the process, he sat down on the small table behind him. He didn't know what had gone through his mind, what had brought him to think it'd be okay to kiss his best friend, or that she would even WANT to kiss him. It had been a heat of the moment thing. The music playing, the dancing, how depressed he'd been all day, it had all accumulated and had came out in that instant.
With a loud sigh, he put his elbows on his knees, covering his face with his hands, trying to think out what to say to her, what to do to keep her from getting angry and leaving or simply hating him.
All that came to mind were three words, two of which weren't even really in his vocabulary.
"I'm sorry, Jazz..."[/b]
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Jazz Tarin
*Civilian*
Daughter of Shane Tarin
Hell on Wheels, [br]Just Like My Mother
Posts: 15
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Post by Jazz Tarin on Dec 5, 2009 19:10:23 GMT -5
JazzJazz sat on the couch, watching as Ben walked away across to the other side of the room. Her head was full of confusing thoughts. She didn't know how to react. Of course she had been having these different feelings for Ben lately but she didn't really know what it had meant. And she really hadn't expected him to have any feelings for her. Maybe he didn't really, maybe it was just him seeing if he could get something from her. Like a friends with benefits kind of deal. She knew he had more experience than her since he had been gone outside the complex on numerous occasions.
Jazz sighed as she heard his voice. Barely a whispers but she could still hear him. She wasn't sure how to process what he was thinking. This was just too new for her. She almost wanted to cry. On one hand she wanted him to like her as more than a friend but on the other hand if she was just convenient for him. She didn't want to get her hopes up or her heart broken."Ben... You weren't stupid... And you have nothing to be sorry for. I was just surprised is all. I've never been kissed by a boy before. Well... Except for that creepy kid Charlie in the third grade but then I punched him in the face and he left me alone after that. So I don't think that really counts." Jazz let out a long deep breath she'd been holding in. Her eyes looking at Ben. She hadn't mean to make him thing he'd done anything wrong. He hadn't done anything wrong at all. It was just strange... It was Ben after all, she had known him since she was nine. She just needed a minute to get used to it and to know what he had meant by it. Was it just nothing to him or was he feeling something else too?
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Post by Ben Braeden on Dec 27, 2009 23:47:22 GMT -5
Ben didn't know what to do. He wasn't even sure WHY he had just done that.
Groaning into his hands, he mentally kicked himself, again and again and again. He was just waiting to hear it, to hear Jazz cuss him out and leave. He knew exactly what she must be thinking, because he was thinking the same thing. Why did he do that? What did it mean?
For Ben, there had never been anything between him and girls except for physical attraction and, on his part at least, a lot of seduction. Jazz knew that, too. She knew all too well of some of his adventures outside the compound. And what she didn't know, he was sure she'd guessed. She was too smart not too have done so.
So, what was she supposed to think? She most likely figured it was just a plot, something for him to get in her pants. But, it wasn't. Question still remained thou, WHAT was it?
"Ben... You weren't stupid... And you have nothing to be sorry for. I was just surprised is all. I've never been kissed by a boy before. Well... Except for that creepy kid Charlie in the third grade but then I punched him in the face and he left me alone after that. So I don't think that really counts."
Lifting his head up, Ben glanced back at her, unable to keep himself from chuckling lightly at her story or the creepy kid she punched.
He was shocked though, to learn that he was her first kiss. Jazz had been cut off, sure, they all had except for those who, like him, had been able to leave the walls of the compound. But to have never had been kissed? it was like a story from some corny movie.
Taking a deep breath, Ben tried to think of what to say. What could he say, really? He knew she probably wanted to know what had been the reason behind the kiss, but he didn't even know.
"Yeah, it was stupid... Not because... Wait..."
Raising a brow in thought, he tried to put his words together. He didn't mean it was stupid to kiss HER. It was stupid he didn't know WHY he kissed her.
"I just... Well, when I kissed you, it was kinda... uh... I don't know why I did. But... I don't regret that I did... I just..."[/b]
Sighing deeply, he ran his hands through his hair, wondering what he was supposed to say. He had never been good with words, not like this anyway. Not stuff he was supposed to say, and mean. He really liked Jazz, she was his best friend. But, did he LIKE her? He wasn't sure now. He had thought about it, sure. But, he had never made any moves, until now. And he'd made a big move this time.
What should I do? What will SHE do?
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